Why I am not as Alpha as Roissy

One of the central tenets of “Game” is that women value men mostly by “status” – which is a fairly vague and manipulable thing. Hence a man who learns “Game” will be much more attractive to women and can leapfrog over other men. And if men accumulate status over time, they can become more attractive to women. Men, however, value women by looks, which merely decline over time, and female value is fixed relative to each other. So the high school nerd might one day marry a supermodel, but the ugly girl in high school will never, ever marry the captain of the football team.

There is much truth to this point of view, but it paints an incomplete picture. Part of the reason it’s left as this generalisation is because the “Game” community is mostly written by and for men, who are naturally less interested in how women can raise their value. But perhaps it’s also because it amounts to a status claim – that we men are these cool, rational beings who apprise women instantly and permanently, and you women are locked forever in place. It flatters the male ego to think like this, but it’s not really true. I’d like to explore why.

Appearance is not just Looks

Given a group of women, most men are going to rank them in the same order of physical attractiveness. However, that is not merely based on innate looks – it is also the way a woman walks, dresses, and acts. To give an extreme example, a woman burping or picking her nose is really unattractive. Simply put, a woman behaving in a feminine way is much, much more attractive to men than one behaving in an unfeminine way – and women know this, at least subconsciously. That’s why when a woman shows interest in a man she will often open her eyes wider, play with her hair, lick her lips, etc… if you look at any list of IOIs, you’ll see that they’re all things that make the woman more attractive. Which makes sense – if she’s trying to make herself more attractive to you, it stands to reason she’s interested.

However, many of these things operate subconsciously, which is why some women do them badly. I knew a girl who would chew her hair when she got nervous, such as when an attractive man approached her. Yeah, not so attractive. These behaviours can be learned and improved on, which is why mothers tell their daughters to smile and not frown, and why in years past finishing schools were popular for young debutantes. Small and subtle differences in the way you behave make a big difference in how others see you. And then there is the area of clothes and makeup – I don’t think anyone would deny these make a huge difference.

Pedestalisation

PUAs talk about (and warn against) pedestalisation, but I don’t think they really consider what it is. But really, it is elevating a woman much higher than her “true” worth. Well, the very fact that this is such a widespread male practice ought to be a bodyblow to the idea that female Sexual Market Value is fixed. Now, I’m actually not as down on pedestalisation as many are – you need a little bit to make a relationship worthwhile. As Samuel Johnson said, “Were it not for imagination a man would be as happy in arms of a chambermaid as of a duchess.” And no, pedestalisation is not only done by betas. Everyone does it, to a greater or lesser extent, which is why everyone needs to guard against it.

Therefore, a woman who makes it easy for men to pedestalise her will raise her SMV. Part of this is the feminine behaviours outlined above, part of this is vulnerability, and part of this is simply not doing anything to de-pedestalise herself. Men have an innate tendency to pedestalise the women they are interested in, but that can be destroyed, as in this rather disgusting story. Did the woman really become more or less attractive for that one incident? No. But she de-pedestalised herself.

White Knighting

Men have an innate wish to protect vulnerable women. It’s biological. The “Game” community deride it as white knighting and they make good points, but the unalterable truth is that men do this stuff anyway, because we’re programmed that way. I remember when I was younger talking to an incredibly attractive woman, and she was telling me about her mum died, and she started crying. At that point I’d have done anything for her – and so would just about any man, if we’re honest about it. It may not make sense logically, and we may try to guard against it, but a woman who acts vulnerable makes herself more attractive.

Now, I am not defending White Knighting, or saying that women who exploit it make themselves more attractive. That girl didn’t want me to do anything – she was just telling a story and got swept away in her emotions. If she had used her tears to try and get me to run some errand for her, it would have likely worked – but it would also have made me resent her. This power, like so many kinds of power, only works when it’s not used.

Her past

PUAs like to say that a woman’s sexual past counts against her. Well, yes and no. In theory it might, but it can’t count against her if you don’t know what it was. Women lie, and if they lie well enough you will never find out.

Overall, on the scale of 1-10, I think girls can go up/down a maximum of 2-3 points based on these factors. Perhaps that’s not as much of a change as a man can make, but it’s still an awful lot, and I think the PUA people would do well do bear it in mind. Now, am I saying that I can write a book about this stuff and sell it to women? That millions of women can follow my tips to improve their SMV? Nope, because I think almost all women know this stuff already. It’s obvious. I’m not so much describing stuff that women could do to improve their SMV, but stuff that women do do to improve their SMV. And men should bear it in mind.

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